I’ll level with you – I’m not built for the world of 24/7 non-stop digital communication – you know, the sort enabled by collaboration tools such as Slack. It’s not Slack’s fault, and there are plenty of teams out there using the platform to their advantage, creating incredible automation and seeing great results.
It’s me, OK? The constant noise is unbearable. I’m the sort to turn off notifications on every single app. My phone is permanently on silent. Need help in an emergency? Definitely don’t call me – I won’t see or hear your call.
I didn’t think anything could change my feelings towards collaboration tools until I discovered a useless Slack feature that put a genuine smile on my face and inspired me to seek out more of them. This article is for those of you who, like me, just don’t love Slack. May these five useless Slack tips bring you some joy…
Do You Like Hummus?
We may as well start with the random observation that inspired this entire article. In your Slack preferences, you can choose notification sounds for various alerts such as messages and huddles. I bet most of you are using “Ta-da” or “Knock Brush”…
However, you can choose from a variety of other sounds: dings, doings, plinks, and… wait for it… hummus! A lady will literally say “hummus” every time you get a notification.
This is absurd, and yet, utterly joyful! I tell everyone who will listen about this notification, and I hope you will too – please spread the hummus joy! If all I achieve in my career is getting thousands more people to use this notification, then it will have all been worth it (thanks in advance).
Notify Yourself
Can someone explain the need to have notification sounds on when you send a message to someone else?
If your ears aren’t already bleeding from incessant incoming message alerts, then feel free to choose a “Notification sound (sending a direct message)”.
May I suggest using “hummus”?
Huddle Hold Music
Huddles allow you to jump into quick conversations – an audio call from any channel or DM – to get things resolved and take the hassle out of scheduling meetings.
There’s a nifty option in your preferences to “Play music to let you know you’re the last one in the huddle”:
With this enabled, Slack takes on the persona of a therapist or wellness coach, encouraging you to “enjoy the tranquility” of the music.
If this is happening to you frequently, I presume that either a) you are too slow to hang up and should probably work on this, or b) you’re savoring a quiet moment in the midst of a hectic day.
Sadly, you can’t start a huddle by yourself simply to enjoy the soothing sounds of Slack’s smooth jazz. However, in great news, I no longer have to convince a co-worker to hop on a Huddle with me and then hang up just so I can get my fix. Instead, you can find a whole 60 minutes right here…
O.G. Emojis
Please welcome the “dusty stick”.
What is it? What is it used for?
The “Dusty Stick” is in fact a relic from a game the team behind Slack used to make. The game was called “Glitch” and players completed quests in a magical world. There was an incident in 2012 known as the “Great Item Loss of Early 2012”. As an apology, the makers of Glitch released the dusty stick as a special gift.
A special gift to commemorate the Great Item Loss of early 2012.
Build up the power of your stick throughout the day. When ready, release it in order to spread happiness to all those around you.
Glitch, the game
Now that you know it exists, you can never unsee it, and will have to find your own uses for it. You’re welcome.
Wait, there’s more…
The Dusty Stick wasn’t the only Glitch emoji to make it over to Slack. Here are two more for your enjoyment:
Glitch Crab
Cubimal Chick
Taking Some Zs
Want to inform your co-workers that you’re taking a quick nap during your workday? No problem, simply pause your notifications and a little “Z” will appear near your name to indicate you are unavailable.
Admittedly, the “Z” doesn’t actually mean “back soon, having a snooze”, but it is a bit reminiscent of the 😴 emoji for my liking!
Summary
In case you hadn’t guessed, this article is meant for amusement purposes only and in no way detracts from the value Slack brings to team collaboration.
If you also struggle with Slack, the best thing you can do is learn more about the features that can benefit you, and how to utilize the tool to your advantage. In good news, we’ve got plenty of tips for you… good luck!
Comments: